Sunday, 4 July 2010

Recipe for feeling like shit on a Sunday

There are many closely guarded recipes for feeling rough on a Sunday, but this is one I recently tried and I think it works really well.

On Saturday morning saunter along to the gym for, let's say, 11am. Whilst here make sure you do a long, hard session of kettlebell working out (if you don't know a kettlebell, imagine a cannon ball with a handle so it looks like a 24kg handbag). Continue until you have thoroughly exercised all your major muscle groups. I find it helps to throw a few wide arm pull-ups and dips plus a few crunches into the mix to really isolate those hard to reach lats, triceps and abs. Next go home covered in sweat and crap from the rubberised coating on the kettlebells in all the areas they have come into contact with. Oh, and you should also find a few newly developing bruises on the forearms from the bells as you practice a few sets of snatching.

Shower and nip out to Go Outdoors at Horbury Bridge to look for stuff for your impending holiday. Come home to eat the remains of last night's pizza (reheated) and to watch Argentina being destroyed by a ruthless, free-flowing Germany team in a World Cup quarter final. It helps if you happen to enjoy a couple of Czech beers at this point. I'm quite fan of Pilsner Urquell

Change again before heading out to the table you had booked at Bistro 42 in Horbury village where it's best to enjoy a couple of beers and a glass of red wine with your rather excellent meal of clams in white wine, tomato and chorizo followed by a steak which is cooked (using the term loosely) to the intstructions of "just wipe its arse and walk it onto the plate" Enjoy another beer while watching the end of the Paraguay v Spain quarter final before wandering down to the Shepherd's Arms for a few more beers. Follow this up with a further foray into the best that Horbury has to offer at the Kings Arms where you further marinate your digesting steak in several more pints of beer plus a couple of gin and tonics. Throw in a couple of karaoke standards and stay out until 2am. Return home and go to sleep.

Enjoy the rough feeling with a toasted muffin on Sunday morning when it all comes flooding back to make you feel like you have been in a drinking competition with with Oliver Reid, Judy Finnegan and Bacchus himself whilst simultaneously fighting with Mike Tyson and Queen Boadicea when she was having a particularly bad spell of PMT

No comments:

Post a Comment